Saturday, October 23, 2010

Daddy's Post

Up until this point all of the blogging has been handled by my wife, Meghan, who has done an outstanding job! With it being October and Spina Bifida awareness month, I felt compelled to share some of my own feelings about our life and our beautiful children. Let me start by introducing myself, my name is Rodney and my son has Spina Bifida. I have a beautiful daughter, and a loving wife who has blessed me in more ways than I will ever know.

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010, was the first time I heard the words “spina bifida”. I didn’t know what it meant for my son or what it would mean for our family. We sat in our car afterwards and cried as we called our families for support. The next couple of days were confusing and scary; I wondered if I would ever see my son walk, play sports, drive a car, on and on it went. I never felt victimized, I never blamed “anyone” this simply was the way it was and we needed to figure out how to deal with it. We kept getting encouraging updates from all of the doctors, which eased the pain, but never made it go away. One night a few weeks after we got the news I had a very powerful dream, a dream that I haven’t told anyone about to this day. In my dream I saw our son as a young man, he was riding a bicycle in a race, he sped past Meghan and I, in the dream we were holding each other and crying. The image was so powerful I woke up crying, but I also felt as ease as if someone was telling me everything was going to be ok. From that day on I had a renewed strength and at that point truly began to look forward to meeting my son! The next several months were very typical of anyone expecting a child, decorating his room, picking out a name (that took awhile) and stocking up on bottles and diapers. We were excited and anxious to meet this baby and begin a new phase in our family.

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010, Beckett Josiah Crosier arrives; here was this beautiful baby boy, with kicking legs and a loud cry, who looked perfect to me. We didn’t get to hold this blessing just yet, but we sure took a lot of pictures and squeezed those little hands. Beckett’s defect was small and low, both good news in the world of spinal defects. He had surgery the very next day, closing the defect and installing the temporary drain. Kissing him good-bye as he was taken into surgery was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. Knowing he was in the best hands possible was a major relief for us, Dr. Moriarty did an amazing job and we are so blessed to be so near this amazing surgeon. Beckett took his time waking up from this surgery and was starting to worry his daddy. I went to the waiting room to rest; I was almost at a breaking point. My mother-in-law woke me up and said that I needed to go see my little boy, I jumped up scrubbed in and made my way back. As I rounded the corner into the NICU I could see his mommy feeding him a bottle! Tears of joy followed and I will never forget that moment in my life.

Thursday, July 15th, 2010, “flip day” or the first day we were able to hold our son! I took the morning off from work and Meghan and I arrived early, as we couldn’t wait to hold our precious baby. I think Beckett enjoyed this day just as much as his mommy and daddy did. From this point on everything happened quickly, he passed all of his tests and we were ready to take him home. In all Beckett spent 20 days in the NICU as Kosair Children’s Hospital.

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010, we finally took our son home and our new family was together at last! It was so nice to not have to ask permission to see our baby, or wait in a crowded waiting room while others visited. We were home, Beckett, Paisley, Mommy, and Daddy and it felt great! Doctor’s appointments would follow and follow up scans have been performed. This little miracle, our son Beckett, continues to do amazing.

As I watch my son grow and develop and change, I can’t help but think how truly blessed we are to have him as our own. He is smiling and laughing and talking (baby talk that is) and when his blue eyes lock on mine, I know he knows that I am his daddy! This is a feeling I cannot describe, the joy, the pride and the LOVE are so powerful. To imagine not having him is impossible for me to do. This is my son, no matter what; he is a miracle and a blessing. All I really know is this, Beckett is my son, he has Spina Bifida and my life and our families are stronger and better because of it.

Meghan's back...I can't post without a picture or two!!!
My sweet little not-so-little-girl-anymore after her shower.
Daddy and Beckett
The Halloween dressed kiddos ready for the Halloween parade!


Nana said...

Rodney Crosier, you are an AMAZING husband and daddy! Thank you for sharing your feelings. I am typing through my tears and am so blessed to have you as my son-in-law!

Terry, Leslie and Noah said...

Aww, you made me cry!!! Adorable, sweet, wonderful post! I am so happy for you all and so happy he is doing so well!

Joanna (and David) said...

Very sweet words Rodney - nice to hear from the daddy - great idea! :) I love the pics of course Meghan - in that last one Paisley and Beckett really look alike!

Jill said...

So nice!!

Aunt HaU said...

I probably shouldn't have read this at school; I knew it would make me cry! This was one of the most touching things I have ever read and your pride in being a daddy to Beckett and Paisley just SHINES. Those kids could not have asked for better parents. I love you all to pieces and thanks for sharing this blog with everyone. It is truly inspiring. Love pictures too! Can't wait for Beck's 1st Halloween! And Rod, I think you should make a guest post more often!!!

Selina said...

SO Beuatiful! Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us.

Heather Weir said...

I love getting the Daddy's perspective. Thanks for sharing your love for all of us to read. Looks like your kids have wonderful parents to help them along in this journey called life!

jessica said...

That was such a sweet post. You guys are awesome parents and truly are an inspiration. God blessed your family. Kris, Jessica, and Gavin Franklin